smartskin101

After all these years, I still remember Jessica, the high school cheerleading captain, telling me that a woman’s hair is her crown and glory. It’s why I’ve spent the past 24 hours bawling my eyes out after having the worst haircut of my entire life.  My hair had reached what my friend Andre called “mermaid hair length.” It was time to cut off some of that weight.

Last week, while attending Capitol File’s exclusive “Power List” Party, I had received a gift bag loaded with goodies from Salon A (located in Bethesda). Normally I wait until I can make a trip to my home town, where I have the best stylist, Kim. With no trips planned in the near future, I thought I had lucked out by receiving this Salon A gift certificate. I write this now weighed down with complete regret.  Ann, one of the owners, was my stylist. I gave Ann specific instructions on what I wanted, including the shortest length I was willing to go. Additionally, I provided a photo of the exact haircut I wanted. Ann said she would cut 2 inches off the length, and would work with me if I wanted more taken off. When I saw 6 inch strands of my hair falling into my lap, I stopped Ann to ask her what she was doing while reeling back the full on panic attack that was mounting. She assured me it was just her technique and that I needn’t worry. Well, when it was all over, I realized she took off more than half a foot of my hair. Even more inexcusable than butchering off all my hair, was that it was simply a bad haircut. I would have received a better cut from the Hair Cuttery.

Ann admitted that she never asked me if she should cut more than her suggested 2 inches. She also conceded that it was nothing like the photo. She said that I was talking so much that she just kept cutting. I don’t know what kind of salon owner and stylist would ever dare blame the client for his/her own incompetency. Further, no one offered solutions. I was asked repeatedly what they should do to it, being reminded each time they cannot magically give me my long hair back. I imagine any professional salon would provide solutions, as well as apologies, to fix what they screwed up. The other partner tried to fix the poor layering job Ann had done, and then styled only half my hair to show me what it would look like when I tried it myself. He let me leave the salon with half my hair done.  And not a single person apologized for cutting off all of my hair.

I give Salon A, of Bethesda, MD, a whopping F. Never in my life have I had such an awful experience. It will take me the rest of this year to get to the length I had originally asked Ann for. This woman Ann took away my confidence as a woman and showed absolutely no remorse for it.  Hair to a woman is much more than, well, hair. It’s our best accessory. We have to look at if every day. It doesn’t define us, but it is very much part of our identity. My long hair made me feel beautiful and sexy. Now, I find myself feeling like the emperor who realizes he is wearing no clothes: stripped and humiliated. But I will have to march forward and learn to love ponytails for the next few months. In the meantime, I will test techniques to expedite my hair growth and report back to you on what appears to work, and what does not. Biotin is purportedly capable of increasing hair growth, so I’ll start with a bottle of that. Cross your fingers for me. I’m in it for the long haul. Le sigh.